I've only just realized I'm a very jaded person when it comes to love. I never used to be like this but since the end of a 2 month relationship (after being single for nearly 9 years) I don't care or acknowledge that kind of thing.
Sure, I -have- loved once, other times were my own forced illusions of wanting it to be that way. I've suffered countless rejections and pain and that's probably why I am the way I am now.
I never think of anyone I know like that, I don't have crushes anymore...none of it bothers me. I'm shy, dumb and awkward, I'm a monster when I'm drunk and twice as bad. Yes, I reflect and reminisce of times when it was different but that's because I -do- miss it, I miss -feeling- something...
I'm not stone, just tired, exhausted...jaded.
...This is probably why I'm having a lot of trouble with my relationship dialogues in my story ._.
...shit.
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